Paradigm Shifting
I have a bit of time right now, and figure that I need to pay some attention to the blog. Same old excuses: Teaching, trying to write when I get a break from teaching, and then keeping one eye on the stock market to catch anomalous drops that reap easy cash in a few days when the stock price corrects itself.
As I run through what I've done since I woke up this morning, my life strikes me as well... rather different from what it was a year ago.
Then, I was punching the clock on the dissertation and stressing out over upcoming job interviews namely at the MLA, and sending out letters well into the spring.
As it turns out, most of the spring deadlines went ignored after I accepted my job in February.
My morning today is quite typical. I wake up mid-to-late morning. As I turn over in bed, I check my email and my stock portfolio on my PDA. I get up, and open the blinds halfway. Since one entire wall of my bedroom is a sliding glass door, the rush of light turns on my internal clock instantly.
Why I bothered to log on to the internet in bed, I have no idea, because the second thing I do after I get up is to flip open the computer and do the same thing. I run through most of the bookmarks on my toolbar, then turn up the volume as I arrive on the video channels of TheStreet.com.
I start boiling water for coffee in the kitchen, and dress as the videos start to play. I'd like to say that I like TheStreet.com for the strength of its news and reportage, but honestly, half the time I just want to find out which turtleneck Alix Steel is wearing, and whether Brittany Umar can actually be hotter than she was yesterday.
Ah, the ladies of TheStreet.com... but I digress.
Anyway, that's kind of how my life is on many days, and it's way better than grad school. With that in mind, I figured that I'd write a tip sheet for the people in my position one year ago. The MLA interviews are coming up soon, so all over America, hundreds of young academics are experiencing a severe existential crisis.
So for those among them who found this page by googling "academic job interview", here are 10 things to remember as interview season approaches.
No, they won't cover the very basics like how you should prepare for interviews by preparing sharp answers to the basic set of stock questions asked at all interviews, these are the things no one who takes academia too seriously ever tells you, the things that worked for me.
10. First a shameless plug: Read my entries from February to March 2007. Those stories from the trail are one of a kind.
9. Get a suit. A nice one. Your last one or two Amazon bills would cover this. While it might not actually get you a job, you don't want to think that it could've lost you one.
8. Remember that most interviewees will be completely anonymous in black, with a dark shirt, and understated tie. Fuck that. Vary from the black, and pick one article in a solid color above the waist that pops. A bright tie that isn't clownish, or a sharp collar that isn't too guido or so overly black that only Michael Jordan can pull off. I'd do the same with scarves for women.
7. Don't sightsee. Study your notes, rehearse your answers. It's an audition. You know how politicians sound so smooth? Well, their secret is practice.
6. Be psychologically prepared for the MLA. The sheer spectacle of it. The hordes of douchey nerds in the hotel lobby can be intimidating, but float above it all. Remember, they're all so scared that they're pretty much ready to throw up. Just observe them closely, see the panic in their eyes and body language, and you'll feel better instantly.
5. Don't be scared. It might help to have a plan B. Another year on the diss? Another hard but lucrative year on the community college gravy train? A visualization of a second career perhaps. Act like you could walk away from the table without a second thought, and the upper hand is yours. Your confidence? Palpable.
4. Find a personality. I tend to find mine in a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso.
3. Remember the assholes among your grad student colleagues. They grew up and became academics, who now find themselves on search committees. They might be strangers, but you know their psychological make-ups and failings. Use their dementia to your advantage. It's the same game. Same people, same douchebags, same social dysfunctional bullshit.
2. Some jobs are just not meant to be. You might luuurve to live in San Francisco or Manhattan, but narrowing your sights like that can cripple you, blinding you to great situations and greater people elsewhere, and stressing you out when the one big interview doesn't go well. The programs that like you will like you. The ones that don't can go screw themselves.
1. There are a million, no... a billion things that can work for or against you in an interview, none of which has anything to do with the basic barometers of academic worth. Chill out.
Chill the fuck out.
As I run through what I've done since I woke up this morning, my life strikes me as well... rather different from what it was a year ago.
Then, I was punching the clock on the dissertation and stressing out over upcoming job interviews namely at the MLA, and sending out letters well into the spring.
As it turns out, most of the spring deadlines went ignored after I accepted my job in February.
My morning today is quite typical. I wake up mid-to-late morning. As I turn over in bed, I check my email and my stock portfolio on my PDA. I get up, and open the blinds halfway. Since one entire wall of my bedroom is a sliding glass door, the rush of light turns on my internal clock instantly.
Why I bothered to log on to the internet in bed, I have no idea, because the second thing I do after I get up is to flip open the computer and do the same thing. I run through most of the bookmarks on my toolbar, then turn up the volume as I arrive on the video channels of TheStreet.com.
I start boiling water for coffee in the kitchen, and dress as the videos start to play. I'd like to say that I like TheStreet.com for the strength of its news and reportage, but honestly, half the time I just want to find out which turtleneck Alix Steel is wearing, and whether Brittany Umar can actually be hotter than she was yesterday.
Ah, the ladies of TheStreet.com... but I digress.
Anyway, that's kind of how my life is on many days, and it's way better than grad school. With that in mind, I figured that I'd write a tip sheet for the people in my position one year ago. The MLA interviews are coming up soon, so all over America, hundreds of young academics are experiencing a severe existential crisis.
So for those among them who found this page by googling "academic job interview", here are 10 things to remember as interview season approaches.
No, they won't cover the very basics like how you should prepare for interviews by preparing sharp answers to the basic set of stock questions asked at all interviews, these are the things no one who takes academia too seriously ever tells you, the things that worked for me.
10. First a shameless plug: Read my entries from February to March 2007. Those stories from the trail are one of a kind.
9. Get a suit. A nice one. Your last one or two Amazon bills would cover this. While it might not actually get you a job, you don't want to think that it could've lost you one.
8. Remember that most interviewees will be completely anonymous in black, with a dark shirt, and understated tie. Fuck that. Vary from the black, and pick one article in a solid color above the waist that pops. A bright tie that isn't clownish, or a sharp collar that isn't too guido or so overly black that only Michael Jordan can pull off. I'd do the same with scarves for women.
7. Don't sightsee. Study your notes, rehearse your answers. It's an audition. You know how politicians sound so smooth? Well, their secret is practice.
6. Be psychologically prepared for the MLA. The sheer spectacle of it. The hordes of douchey nerds in the hotel lobby can be intimidating, but float above it all. Remember, they're all so scared that they're pretty much ready to throw up. Just observe them closely, see the panic in their eyes and body language, and you'll feel better instantly.
5. Don't be scared. It might help to have a plan B. Another year on the diss? Another hard but lucrative year on the community college gravy train? A visualization of a second career perhaps. Act like you could walk away from the table without a second thought, and the upper hand is yours. Your confidence? Palpable.
4. Find a personality. I tend to find mine in a cup of coffee with a shot of espresso.
3. Remember the assholes among your grad student colleagues. They grew up and became academics, who now find themselves on search committees. They might be strangers, but you know their psychological make-ups and failings. Use their dementia to your advantage. It's the same game. Same people, same douchebags, same social dysfunctional bullshit.
2. Some jobs are just not meant to be. You might luuurve to live in San Francisco or Manhattan, but narrowing your sights like that can cripple you, blinding you to great situations and greater people elsewhere, and stressing you out when the one big interview doesn't go well. The programs that like you will like you. The ones that don't can go screw themselves.
1. There are a million, no... a billion things that can work for or against you in an interview, none of which has anything to do with the basic barometers of academic worth. Chill out.
Chill the fuck out.
posted by Teach | 3:11 AM
3 Comments:
Found your blog about a month ago googling "my students are stupid" and have been reading back entries since then. I'm a fan . . . and in the very predicament you're describing here. I appreciate the humor and insight. Keep on keepin' on.
I have to ask, since you revealed your Google search terms... what's the context of that? If you've read the relevant entries here, you'd have figured that I abhor taking such an attitude in the classroom. Sure, I've had my share of morons in class, but most students don't start a class thinking that they don't want to learn.
No, I'm with you. The majority of the time I feel just as you do. But I was wading through a particularly abysmal set of papers at the time I did the search--feeling a little desperate--and, at the moment, I don't teach the same kind of students you do. I'm at a 2-year, open admissions institution, though as I mentioned previously, I'm looking for another gig.
In this place, I tend to get a little more of the "douchebag" element you had in the back of one of your classes, I think, but I also get some really interesting non-trads. It's a mixed bag, and on most days, my attitude doesn't take such a cynical turn. . . . And I do my best never to bring that into a classroom.
Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.
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